🎄Navigating the Christmas Season to keep you mentally and physically well...Part 2

Boundaries

Setting boundaries for yourself and your family is always important but around this time of the year where you could potentially be surrounded by more friends and family it’s important to work out what boundaries you will put in place for your mental and physical health.

Gotta attend those Christmas Soirees?

We know that this time of the year comes with a lot more social engagements and more often than not we are expected to attend. But hell, sometimes we just don’t want to, or we hate crowds, or we don’t like the people we are expected to socialise with, perhaps it’s a financial stretch to attend all these extra events. Whatever the reason it’s valid and it’s your choice to make whether you attend or not, and that can be a lot harder than it sounds.

You have the peer pressure of your work colleagues begging you to come because ‘it only happens once a year and the company is paying for it’. Then you have your parents telling you that you have to come because ‘the whole family will be there and they really want to see you, surely you can make the effort for just one day of the year’. Your friends who might not necessarily travel in the same friendship circles want different catch ups because they all don’t get on or know each other and want you to come to each of their events otherwise they won’t get to see you for Christmas. Then it seems to be your turn to host Christmas at your house and the family are ‘counting on you’ to turn on the most fabulous Christmas soiree.

Any of this sound familiar? So, what can we do about it? Well, we set boundaries around what we are prepared or not prepared to do and yes you will probably get some push back or even some bullying from people who don’t like these new boundaries you have put in place for the first time. But what’s more important? Your mental, physical and emotional well being or their ruffled feathers? What’s the worst thing that could happen if you decline an invitation? They might not invite you again, well that would be a shame considering you don’t like attending these events anyway. Family might get the shits on and not talk to you, well if they are that shallow and don’t respect your boundaries, then do you really care if they don’t talk to you again?

Now there can be a lot of variables in these situations and sometimes it really isn’t quite that black and white, but what I’ve found is honesty is still the best way. Yep, it can feel uncomfortable and scary being assertive and also being truthful as to why you won’t be attending that particular event, but with practice you become empowered to do what is best for you. You start to project an energy that suggests that you won’t accept anything that is not in your best interest and people will have no choice to accept.

Start off with small boundary ambitions leading up to Christmas, you don’t need to leap off the big boundary bridge to start. Perhaps you have a coffee invitation from a friend but you really don’t have the time to fit that into your day without compromising something else in your day. Be honest and let your friend know why you can’t make it. Maybe you’ve been asked to go for a walk with your walking mate but the weather is crap and you really just don’t feel up to it. Again, be honest, let your walking mate know that you just don’t feel up to. In the long run people will respect you for your honesty and if they don’t, then perhaps you need to decide if there is space for them in your life.

However you choose to spend your Christmas season is right for you at this time and I wish you the happiest and safest Christmas full of limitless abundance.